The past few months, I have been silent for.
And I know there isn’t anything I can do to apologize.
I will however, tell the reason, though it will not still your very justifiable anger.
The reason I started translating because I wanted to do something back. Was a lie.
The two week trip I had before my disappearance. Was also a lie.
The true reason I started translating. It was because of a Serbian friend, who wanted to read the Garudeina novel in the hospital. He had terminal cancer.
Those two weeks were weeks in which we weren’t sure if he was going to make it or not. And since I live in the Netherlands, and didn’t have any means to go there, I hadn’t the slightest clue of whether he was going to die for sure.
And then he died. And with it, all this translating work on Garudeina, became a reminder of his death to me.
So I took a break from everything.
Going to this website, reading other novels, playing the games I played with him.
Until I visited Hungary with my parents this last summer. While we could not go to Serbia, I felt him somewhere. And we decided to let go.
This was hard for me to write. I hope you can understand.
I do not seek, nor want forgiveness, since I do not deserve it.
I realized way too late that not only him, but other people as well took pleasure in reading the stuff I translated.
Even if they do this only to waste time. Even if it’s only a second-rate novel.
I had found pleasure in translating, which I think nearly all other translators will agree on with me. It’s a hobby, a pleasure, something we can do in our free time that gives joy because it also helps other people.
Again, I do not want you to forgive me. Please just release all your anger towards me through commenting or whatever.
I will start translating again from now on. Garudeina is still slightly hard for me to do, so I will most likely switch to another novel if I can’t get over a chapter. Or I will just edit chapters if someone wants to help if I’m having a hard time.
I’m certain this is not enough, but,